For many people, forgiving someone for an indiscretion or misbehavior is not an easy thing to do. Contrary to popular belief, forgiveness is not about condoning or excusing the wrong doer’s behaviors. It is a shift in our thinking, allowing us to move past the wrongdoing and not allowing it to take up space within our life. It is a shift where we can move past the actual wrongdoing or event and not letting it manifest ill will. We do not focus on retaliation or harm, and we can keep the person who inflicted the damage at bay in our lives. So ultimately, forgiveness is a gift to ourselves, allowing us to move past the event and grant peace and serenity in our own lives while moving beyond the one who harmed us.
Take a sheet of stationery and draft a letter of forgiveness to the one whom you feel has inflicted harm or malice upon you in some way, shape, or form. Let them know fully the event or wrongdoing and how it affected you. Let the offender know what you would have appreciated truly happening or seen done and then finish the letter with a statement of understanding and or an explanation of forgiveness. This letter is for you, for you to move past the transgression and does not have to be sent. A ghost letter lets us move on in our own life, and that is what forgiveness does as well. If you remain troubled with the event, write a letter to yourself and allow the gift of moving on.
Forgiveness impacts our mental, emotional, and psychological health. It can significantly impact our relationships, depression, and anxiety. Grant yourself the gift of forgiveness. Remember that we cannot seek an apology from the offender to feel better, but we can allow ourselves peace through forgiveness.